I sit in amazement this morning of God's plan for my life. I haven't written in a while for many reasons. I have had a lot of things going on personally, as well as the holiday season, but mostly it has been for the following two reasons. First, I got a part-time job. I haven't "worked" in over four years. By that I mean, work for someone else and be accountable for being somewhere on time every day. Second, I haven't felt inspired to write. I have written before that the words on each post are not my own. They are thoughts from The Lord, himself, placed in my head for me to put down on paper (or on computer, as the case may be). I have been praying every day, talking with God, but it has all been for my own need. I have started to write about my new job and then stop because I just didn't feel inspired and couldn't get the words out that I wanted to say. This morning something changed. I woke to read my devotionals for the day. As I read Streams in the Desert, I began to cry. It was written for me, today, as my message from God. He is speaking to me directly as he did before. I felt blessed all over again and the words began to fill my head. I couldn't get up and get to the computer fast enough. The thoughts were pouring out. So here I am, writing before I have to go to work. Let me start by telling you about my new job. I have been blessed to be given the opportunity to work as a part-time newborn hearing screener at the hospital where all of my kids were born and all of my subsequent surgeries and such have happened. I know these people. I know this hospital. I have "lived" here for the last 15 years. The job is this, I gather the info for all of the babies born that day, then go to each room to complete a hearing screen on the baby. It is the most perfect job in the world for me. I get to be with newborns (EEEEEKKK!) and I get to spend time with parents who are experiencing one of life's most precious miracles. They are happy and loving and want to share their joy. I absolutely LOVE it. The pay isn't much, but the experience of each day is payment enough for me. I knew I was meant for this job. Yesterday, was a looonnnggg day. I was working by myself, when there are normally two of us, and there were 20 newborns. The day before we had 15 and more were being born by the minute. At one point, we had 43 newborns in the nursery. I knew it was going to be a long and hard day, but it turned out to be the best day. I had the most amazing patients. They wanted to share so much yesterday and they wanted to hear my stories as well. They needed my help and most of the time a listening ear. I worked for 12 hours and I came home tired, but fulfilled. It was great. This morning, when I woke and read my devotional I couldn't stop crying and thinking of the things I have been through, the things I have seen in my lifetime. The passage from the book is this:
Store up comfort. This was the prophet's mission. The world is full of comfortless hearts and though you are sufficient for this lofty ministry, you must be trained. And your training is costly in the extreme; for, to render it perfect, you too must pass through the same afflictions as are wringing countless hearts of tears and blood. So your own life becomes the hospital ward where you are taught the Divine art of comfort. You are wounded, that in the binding of up of your wounds by the Great Physician, you may learn how to render first aid to the wounded everywhere. Do you wonder why you are passing through some special sorrow? Wait ten years and you will find many others afflicted as you are. You will tell them how you have suffered and have been comforted, then as the tale is unfolded, and the pain medicine applied which once your God wrapped around you, in the eager look and the gleam of hope that will chase the shadow of despair across the soul, you will know why you were afflicted, and bless God for the discipline that stored your life with such a fund of experience and helpfulness.
It has been ten years this year since I lost my girls. I spoke of them so many times yesterday and so freely. It is truly a blessing. I love my Lord, Jesus Christ, and I can't thank Him enough for the many blessings He has bestowed upon me. He is an amazing God and I trust in the plans He has for me.
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