Being a Christian

I finally learned what it means to me to be a Christian.  It is far from believing in God, in Christ.  If is far from attending a Christian church.  It is far from following a set of rules set forth by the sector of choice.  Christ has truly interrupted my life.  In a way like none can imagine and I cannot explain.  I was moving forward with my days, living the life I thought was true and right.  I was not a "sinner" per se.  I was not a criminal or a wayward soul.  I was a mother of two and a wife and a good one at that.  I made sure my kids were well taken care of and my house was in order and my husband was happy.  My obligations were met, I didn't beg of anyone for help, I did what it took to survive every day and be happy.  We were happy.  So I thought.  The underlying darkness of depression and life's losses still weighed heavily on me.  I would pretend daily that it didn't affect me.  Things in life would go wrong and I would blame myself or God for punishing me for something I didn't do.  I would look at those going to church each week, knowing they were just like me, living the same way I was and I couldn't understand why they went.  To me, they were using the church as a crutch.  I don't know.  I couldn't see past the people's need for interaction with others.  That's what it seemed like to me.  They weren't going seeking a connection with God each Sunday, they were going to show their faces and make friends and let their kids go to Sunday school.  No one in my life was living a life full of Christ though.  No one spoke about Him.  No one prayed like they should.  We prayed at dinner, but it was the kids prayer.  We love to hear the kids pray, but we weren't teaching them to pray for specific things in life or pray for others as they should.  We thought we were teaching them manners.  We were proud of our accomplishments.  But that didn't make us Christians.  It made us wannabes.  We wanted to be Christians, but we didn't want to be "those" Christians.  You know the ones, who preach to others, who talk openly about God and Christ and their feelings on the Bible.  Those things have become so taboo.  The conversations unheard of.  So very politically incorrect.  Our culture has worked on removing God out of our lives and we are allowing it.  We were saying to God that you are not real enough to us.  What can you do for us?  That is the mentality of the world right now.  What will I get out of it?  If I help you or if I do this, what am I going to get?  We don't do anything for free any more.  For the simple reward of doing it.  We want something in return.  If a relationship doesn't give us something in return, we cut it off.  If a job doesn't give us the promotion someone else got, we quit.  If someone else's life is going better than ours we talk about them behind their back and smile to their faces and use them for whatever resources life has given them that it hasn't given us.  We are the most needy we have ever been and its ok for some reason.  Most of us go to church, but most of us are not really Christians.  I know I was not.  I know for certain I have only been a true follower and believer in Christ since July 11, 2013.  That was the day He changed my life forever.  It is a day I will never forget.  It is a day, like the birth of a child, that will forever be burned into my brain.  His way is so amazing and is so much greater than any one of us could imagine.  I wish I could show each of you a glimpse of what He has shown me, just to share in the amazement I have been feeling.  It is truly the most humbling and wonderful experience and I feel so honored and blessed to have been chosen for a gift like this.  I feel honored to have the trials He has given me.  I never looked at my trials as something to be grateful for, but I truly am.  They have and they continue to mold me into the person Christ wants me to be.  His world is an amazing and beautiful place to be.  It doesn't include churches and rules and groups and such.  It includes a daily relationship with Christ and with God and committing yourself to that relationship and to nurturing it like you would any relationship that means something to you.  Of course there is nothing wrong with church and rules and groups and such and I will continue to participate in all of those things, but only because I like them, not because they make me a Christian.  I like going to church because I like listening to the experience of my minister and I love listening to our worship before the sermon.  I like meeting with my friends and family and talking about God and our thoughts about religion because it keeps my mind fresh and engaged and always seeking Him out in my daily life.  I will always read my devotional each day.  I have come to depend on it, for comfort, for guidance, for assurance.  It is the words of my life right now.  I challenge you tonight to find out what makes you a Christian.  Do you know?  Do you feel a true connection with Christ?  I promise that He is listening to all of us.  You may think your voice is going unheard, but it isn't.  He hears all of us and He is listening intently as though He is our best friend.  Once you let Him in the possibilities of your life are truly endless.  The comfort and love you will feel will overwhelm you and bring you to your knees.  I promise.  If you are struggling, as most of us are, He is there for you.  He wants you to know that.  He wants you to know that He has a plan for you and for you to trust in Him.  Your life will change and it will get easier.  He may not answer the prayer in the way you want Him to, but His plan isn't always our plan.  We just have to trust in Him and fully commit our heart and soul to Him.  I have and I pray for each of you every night that He shows you the same things He's shown me.  Love to all of you!!!!!